France!

So after a week of wailing and gnashing of teeth and burning of the rejection letters, things are looking up. I was at choir last night and one of the other girls said to me, "hey, I got my rejection letter from the Jardin program, did you get yours?" and I realized that I had not been home all day. So I called the fiancee and asked him to look through the mail.

After one rejection form letter, one postcard (how gauche!) and an email (at least I can read it in the privacy of my home), I was sure that this would be the final blow, just in time for the holidays. So I ask him to open it, fully prepared for the standard "we had a lot of candidates, we were more than happy to take your application fee to Starbucks, good luck with your career, blah blah blah" response.

But it wasn't there.

No dear friends, instead was a lovely letter telling me that Le Jardin des Voix has accepted my application and passed me on to the next level of audition, a live audition for William Christie in NYC this February. For those of you who have no idea what this is about, here's the reader's digest version:
William Christie is the big guy in charge of Les Arts Florissants. LAF is THE premiere baroque opera company. They do productions of baroque opera with big name opera stars and fantastic orchestras at houses like the Opera in Paris. BIG deal. Jardin des Voix is the young artist program for LAF, run by the same guy. It's two and a half months in France, and they only audition every two years. So I get to sing for these people in person in hopes that they will see fit to accept me into Jardin. (ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease) And should they do this, I will spend spring of 2007 in FRANCE!!

And that said, I'm going to do my happy dance.

goin to the chapel

Or at least to city hall, today. There's a three day waiting period for a marriage license in the state of Massachusetts so we have to get on that detail before the week is out. I don't want to think about anything of substance next week. Once Casey gets here, it will be nothing but painting toenails and fixing hair and arranging flowers.

How do brides make it through these last two weeks with nine million little details and only two hands? Is this why the mother of the bride usually plays such an active role? To keep her daughter from going stir crazy? To her credit, mom has been very helpful from afar and I'm inclined to say it's best that way. We still don't know who's going to show up on that day. There still remain several mystery relatives who may or may not come. But no matter. If they come, they get cake. If not, more tiramisu for me.

That's right, I said 'tiramisu.' Eat your heart out.

Speaking of which, this hungry girl needs breakfast. Hope everyone is having a lovely day!

for He is like a refiner's fire

So I spent most of the weekend drowning in self-loathing, singing two Sunday morning services and three Lessons and Carols services, trying to figure out why it is that I crave so much the validation of some unknown panel of artistic directors at opera companies.
The way my voice teacher says it, with a voice type as unusual as mine, if they found someone who filled the role and could also sing generic soprano in the chorus for the rest of the season, I wouldn't even be considered. This doesn't really make me feel lots better, and then I remembered this conversation that eMc and I had a few years ago. I think someone had sent me a forward - were both having an absolutely abysmal week (we're talking a creole cream cheese ice cream week) - and at the end of the forward was this quote from Malachi:
'And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and He shall purify the sons of Levi, and and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness.'

The conclusion to which Emily and I came was that we were being held to the fire to make us stronger. And so, we became stronger and graduated without bloodshed, wailing or gnashing of teeth or rending of garments, and no animals were harmed in the making of this production.
In short, we lived to fight another day. So, somewhere around the third carol service, it dawned on me that even if a summer opera company doesn't take notice of me, this doesn't make me less worthy. It just means there's something better out there, waiting to make itself known.

That said, I'm going to watch West Wing Season 5 and snuggle with my dog because school is out until January 16th!