A delayed post, from December 11

This was a post I intended to write, having scribbled it down in haste, so pardon the time-delay.

Dec 11, 2007
Today my career took a leap. I'm in the Starbucks on W54th and Broadway, with James Taylor singing 'Something in the way she moves' and my heart is so full I can feel my waterproof eyeliner getting nervous. This was a really good audition season for me. For the first time ever, I was not denied a single audition. I tried to keep perspective and focus on the business of doing my job. And somehow, it happened. People on the other side of the table began to look up. And ask questions. And talk to me. And it seemed that they also began to really listen. Because this was the year that I really started to sing. Not to play at singing or err on the side of caution or hope that my coloratura was clean. I put it out there - I put me out there. Turns out, that's where I needed to be all along.

I'm still scared of failure. My almost-sort-of-maybe-agent-guy says that I give off the 'good little WASP from Boston' vibe, to which my pianist says, 'okay, so you have to slut it up.' But I don't even think that's what it's about. It's not about whether or not my hair is red or blonde or brown, or if I'm wearing pointy shoes (incidentally I'm getting rid of them - my toes pinch). It's about being there in the moment and really engaging. That's what scares us the most - the rejection stings twice as bad when it's really you out there. But at this moment, warm in Starbucks with a double soy latte (the barista's suggestion) I'm all teary because Peter just texted me and it says "Honey, it didn't have to be me at all. It had to be you and it had to be the right time."

Know what? I think I'm going to be an opera singer. Who knew?