Back to life, back to reality

My suitcases are empty. My dog is under the dining room table, nosing my knee to let me know he's there and would like me to stop typing and pet him. My husband is snoozing softly in the office. His desktop is whirring and sounds like it might take flight at any moment. Otherwise, the house is blissfully quiet. I'm home.

We left on July 30 for a choir tour, came home for a family emergency and flew to DC, came back to Boston, three days later I packed to go down to the Cape for a wedding, and we drove back from the Cape this afternoon and I have NO PLANS of leaving my house, my town, my dog, my bed, my clothes, my shower, my fridge, my sanity until sometime next month when we go to a family wedding in Virginia.

I used to love change and travel, the unexpected and the new. I loved picking up my tent and schlepping my life to a new place. Living in another place for a year, learning new currency, learning new colloquialisms. I don't know if it's turning 30 or just where I'm at right now but I want nothing more than to stay. Stay stay stay. I want to be in this place long enough to develop some kind of a routine again, long enough to put the suitcases away - really away, behind the dresser in the closet, far enough away to know that I don't need them. I want to ditch my travel sizes and my little ziploc bags of foreign currency and international SIM cards. I want to forget a little.

I have a great season coming up. A world premiere in Carnegie Hall, a gala and an opera in the two states I called home for 24 years of my life. A concert tour in my favorite European country and even the joy of taking said concert tour back to my home turf. A return to the opera company that started my career, that took a chance on me as a very young singer, and a return to the city that houses my favorite cupcake bakery of all time. But if you'll permit me, I'm going to put off thinking about that season for just a few more days, until my head stops spinning. I know I have to get cooking on the Rosenkavalier Trio and the dialogue (in English AND German) for Flute and I know I really need to learn the Laudamus Te in a serious fast way but, just for now, I'm going to pet my dog. I'm going to breathe in and out. I'm going to go to jury duty (ick) and bring a book and think about my 15-mile run coming up next weekend. I'm going to go to the gym and lift for the joy of lifting. I'm going to wear my favorite aqua sweatshirt because it makes my eyes pop and it's very soft against my skin. I'm going to enjoy my leftover wedding manicure as long as it lasts. I'm going to go through my closets and make a bag to donate. I'm going to eat dinner with my husband. I'm not going to think about singing or practicing or learning music or even teaching music. Not this week.

So if you want to talk about knitting, give me a call. If you want to talk about running, I'm all over it. If you want to talk about new ways to cook eggplant or a recipe for pie crust that's got you on fire, come find me. But the career counselor's office is shut, the music teacher is out, and the opera singer is on vacation. Whew.