I woke up this morning before my alarm. Paranoia about being late does that. I cranked open the window shades (sidebar: don’t you love those window shades you see on the windows in Germany and Italy and Switzerland? They shut out ALL of the light. It’s so rad.) to see a lot of cloudy and grey, and sighed. I made myself an egg, ate a yogurt, and sighed. I packed. I sighed. Eugene walked me to the train, there were people smoking on the platform, I sighed.
Somewhere between Basel and Karlsruhe, Grey’s Anatomy rescued me from my funk. I got off the train in Karlsruhe and was greeted by my dear friend Tobi, whom I had not seen since he and his girlfriend Babsi came to London to see my ENO Queen in 2009. Far far too long. We visited in a lovely little café in the Hauptbahnhof, playing catch-up on everything in our lives, talking about the future and our careers and our work and our play. It was absolutely delightful and totally what I needed. I got back on the train an hour later, refreshed (and caffeinated) and ready to get to Munich.
Ganking wireless abroad
Starbucks now has free wifi, internationally. That means for the price of a latte (which really could be anywhere from reasonable to rent) you can sit in a warm, dry place and check your email, do some work, watch trashy television, whatever. So when my friend Corey told me he was going to be late picking me up, I got a latte and some shortbread cookies and hunkered down in the Munich Hauptbahnhof Starbucks. And somewhere between an episode of the Vampire Diaries and a whole lot of work emails, the unthinkable happened. Again. A German opera house made an offer within 48 hours of having heard me. And somehow, that made all of the previous funk seem less important.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Auditioning is like dating. You either have an interest or you don’t. You either have chemistry or you don’t. And it’s no one’s fault if you don’t, but you can’t beat yourself up or try to remake yourself in the image of someone else’s expectations because that destroys the possibility of a real connection with the right person, or in this case, the right opera house.
I’m singing a fantastic leading lady in a few years and it delights me to no end. Which is what I told Corey when he picked me up a few hours later. I got settled at his apartment, went to have supper, had a small nip of very yummy scotch (Glenmorangie Port Wood is a revelation!) and went to bed.
I woke up feeling less than enthusiastic. Singing for the Staatsoper is a huge deal. HUGE. And I didn’t want to screw anything up, so I warmed up carefully, did my hair and makeup, packed my suitcase, and left with plenty of time to spare. I schlepped from Marienplatz to the Starbucks for a quick little breakfast – note, sometimes people get surly when you ask questions before they’ve had their coffee – and found my way to the KBB at the Staatsoper. Warmed up, met with the pianist. Who had never played L’Enfant et les Sortilèges. Or Rake’s Progress. This could be very bad.
An afterword....
It’s been two weeks since the audition for Munich now, and I can look back and say it was exactly what I thought it was. The pianist blew on L’Enfant, I nailed my Queen, and they were nonplussed. I was too. But then I got on a plane and came back to the States. Many movies and airplane meals later, I was sipping a beer at our favorite restaurant, and I was so very very glad to be home. After two weeks of German background noise, it is funny to realize you’re hearing English spoken in a restaurant for the first time in what seems like ages.
There’s still more to tell, but this is my final word on audition feedback:
It’s like receiving a re-gift from someone you may not know very well. It could be something really special and speak to a need you didn’t know you had. Or it could be Star Trek steak knives. Either way, it's not up to you.
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