1. My shoulder hurts less today.
2. My dissertation session went well.
3. I got to hang out and speak some German.
4. Beef teriyaki for dinner tonight!
5. One quick run with the husby and the pup chases the crazy away. And boy do I need it.
Audition number two of three (this week) is tomorrow. Husby has taken the day off work so we can work on laundry and packing and the general tending of the crazy whirlwind that's about to transpire. And I'm not ready to go to London. Not physically, not emotionally, not musically. Not not not. I need more time to deal with the separation. I need to figure out how I feel about this. I need to get to the point where I can be excited and share in the joy of this experience and not just wish I were sitting at home in my house doing nothing rather than being anywhere else. I need a kick in the ass of my soul, as it were.
I am so grateful for the opportunities afforded me. I know that this does not come along every day. The economy is in the toilet and I have a job in the arts that I'm keeping. And I get to do what I love. No argument. But the thought of packing that suitcase makes my stomach sink in a big way that tells me it will be harder on me this time. I'll miss my tiffany box-blue kitchen and my warm red dining room that housed our first Thanksgiving. I'll even miss the chirping of the smoke alarm batteries and the distant clanging of the commuter train. This is home now, really home. And I don't think it had truly sunk in until I had to leave it for work.
So pray hard kids. Because all the running in the Boston Marathon is not going to make this go away. Saturday morning, I'm on a plane to London and I'm not coming back until March.
And They Might Be Giants is going to carry me through the next four minutes. Everything after that is up for grabs.
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
1 comment:
I knew you were performing starting in late January, I guess I never thought you'd be leaving before Christmas, but yeah that makes sense.
You're right, though, we should all be so unlucky as to be forced to travel to Europe to do what we love!
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